spooky-spaghetties:

sadboybrigade:

tripropellant:

boring & disrespectful: “oh, i can’t survive without my morning coffee”, “energy drink makes it so that i can get through my boring work”, and so on

living properly: treating caffeinated beverages like very mysterious & powerful magical potions that can give us unforeseen abilities

drink 15 cups of coffee in a day and you can clip through walls

me, approaching my local barista with trepidation and awe: potion seller. I am going into battle and I require your strongest potion.

potion seller: trenta macchiato plus five shots as usual, then?

me, extending my credit card with a trembling hand: fuck me up

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